Changing into a new period of life has brought me to an area of unsure of how to feel outside of grateful. As the clock turned midnight, I heard “Happy Birthday SIS!!!” and I was hugged by my sister as we sat and watched Michael Jackson perform in one of his anniversary concert. I looked as Michael danced and though, he didn’t even make it to the end of the year. He had so much talent and so much to do, and then one second later he is gone. I began really appreciating every moment of being 30. I spent major of the early hours up talking to my sister, giggling and having fun. As well as ending up making a vow to just settle down with a good man, and to get to where I need to go with my family and friends. By 3:30 am Friday, I was on the road heading to DC. Everybody was nervous about the drive since I have not slept since almost 24 hrs earlier. I knew I was fine, and ended up making it up there in good time. During the drive through Richmond the sun began to rise to the most beautiful cloud formation. The clouds were shaped like a strand of pearls. I smiled and was just happy to see this, then the song “Believe” began to play on my iphone. After resting I started on the birthday adventure, by going to my favorite places to hang out in DC. Then I went to the MOCADC opening night, my hopes were so high to see my friends come out. I walked in to see Stephen, Roy, Joel and Dave with a whole bunch of teenagers. I was told that the teenagers were there for something kind of exhibit they did. I went and did my normal setup of jewelry, and then hung out with the gang. I got to check out Stephen’s amazing photos from his burning man trip. When the gang started heading out of the gallery, I decided it was my time to just head out as well. When I got to Dave, to say my goodnight, I was really just happy to see him up and doing his normal socializing with all he has gone through in the past few months, he said something that really touched me. He said I was a light, just a beautiful light, not just in the gallery just all around. I really wanted to burst into tears and just cry but I knew I couldn’t do that. The only thoughts was that I got to spend my birthday with people who I found to be special and dear to me, doing the normal things we usually would take for granted. By the time I got back to Ashburn, I was confused on how to truly feel. I was a bit sad, because I didn’t see more of my friends, or went out dancing or something big but I was so happy to be around those who showed, and to see Dave doing his thing this year. I felt so humbled and grateful. Thank you all who wished me a happy birthday!! You really have touched my heart.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

30th birthday milestone

Over the month I have been reflecting on so much, since I’m reaching a milestone in my life (30th birthday). My dreams now a days have been more of messages like there’s been too much sadness (supposedly in my “husband”) so I must keep positive now and stay that way. Also it was time to build a house; and remember this is a learning experience, and I had to learn how to be a family with my "husband" as well as hold on to him and don’t let him go. This morning’s message was my money was within the galleries and the events I do, as well as watch my health. I ended up waking up early and I saw an article on US magazine about Mrs. Obama talking about what a woman needs to do to find their right man. She said Cute is good but it does not last, go beyond a title and a checkbook, and see what is in his soul. How does he make you feel? Do you feel completely happy and fully whole? I realized this was the reason I was up so early was to see another message. I thought to myself about who I had dated in the past, and asked the question why was I with them. I was not completely happy with them nor felt fully whole. I know a part of my tried to settle down with them, and then it dawned on me, that I was only lying to myself about being fully happy and feeling fully whole. I thought maybe if I got married overtime I could learn to be happy with them. I look at it today as a fool’s thought. Michelle was right, maybe she should add, look beyond the wedding ring as well. With my milestone around the bend, I use to wish my husband would just come like a knight and shining armor and take me away, now it’s I wish to be able to watch the sunrise, and know that I’m happy and whole. -- Posted from my iPhone

Losing through time

I had a dream where it wasn’t bright, colorful, but a dream that we were losing our elders. We were losing the knowledge that was passed down from generations upon generation. The knowledge was the foundation of family, of love, of just common sense, and also a state of enlighten. As a society can sing songs about sex and the club, but ask someone what the constitution is and what are some parts of it and they will not know. We need to learn and grow… We need our men to be men, not pimps, and boys and we need our women to be the strong supports not hookers, and strippers. Due to time good strong elders are fading, so we must go to them who are still among us, absorb everything they say and go out and become the new elders. We need to teach our children how to be strong and also to show that we are strong and wise. We need to give them knowledge that goes beyond the rap videos, dancing, and greed. We need to show them; teach them how to love, themselves and as well as others. How to show respect, earn respect, also how to uplift others as well as share what they have gained, and to grow from learning. We need to teach from the top of Mt. Zion to the deepest depths of our soul. Let the children know how is it really to be a spirit in human form, to be wise, to be strong.


-- Posted from my iPhone

just testing

https://vr.shapeservices.com/play.php?hash=da350cd8781cf9a60bd8eaf68c9b8058d95d74f0fda209a94

___ Sent via VR+

Cancer check

In the days of Jim and Tammy Faye Baker scandals of the 80’s, I remember a woman who was truly special to me. When I first met her I knew something was terribly wrong, but a part of me wanted to just be there. We use to watch the classic cartoons like Superman, Pink Panther, Baby Huey and others like it. I enjoyed the times I saw her even though each time she looked weaker and weaker. My mother told me she had cancer, but it didn’t faze me so much because she still watched cartoons with me. I remember one day she looked at me and smiled, she knew I was there just enjoying the moment with her, while the rest of the kids rather do other things. She got up that day and gave me her breakfast, saying I was too skinny to not go without eating, but I did not mind, I was enjoying cartoon watching with her. Last time I had seen her I almost didn’t recognize her, but we still watched cartoons together. One day it all stopped, my mother didn’t really want to tell me she had past, it was more of me asking what happened to the lady who watched cartoons with me? To this day I miss her, even when I see those old classic cartoons my mind goes back to sitting there with her enjoying them. It’s breast cancer awareness month, but to me it’s just a month to remember those who have passed from cancer, and a time to make sure you and your family are cancer free or getting treated. So if it’s been a while get checked. Thank you!! Also if you are in the Washington DC area Friday Oct 1, 2009 to the rest of this month I will have a jewelry display @ Museum of Contemporary Art DC (1054 31st St NW # 9 Washington, DC 20007 inside Canal Square). The pink and white ones that are sold the money will be going to a cancer charity once I find a one that I know the money will help benefit the most. -- Posted from my iPhone

What makes a man truly unforgettable?

How he handles himself. When he can show me how much of a real good man he is. His intelligence, strength, endurance, his kindness is just outstanding. Its how he can be so masculine and yet still has a gentle touch. You can look into his eyes and just loose time. He can be the type you just want him around everywhere, to have so many experience with. You want to learn from him. It’s his whole essence. -- Posted from my iPhone

When a man is looked upon as a man

When a man is looked upon as a man, it’s seems to change who they are. They go from their normal outlook to something strong, filled with desire. It is as if a light has been shined upon them and you can truly see the beauty in him, what makes him truly worthy to know more, and see more. When a man is looked upon as a man, a powerful, passionate woman will stand back and say “wow”. When a man is looked upon as a man, he has the look of confidence with the stature of a guardian, and a leader. He and those around him are given so much more respect as if his radiance has dripped and blessed them as well. It is one of those moments; where you do not know when it will happen, but when it happens, to gaze upon a man as a man, is one of the most amazing things. -- Posted from my iPhone

Old Goddess to life I was walking into a cave/Egyptian tomb, where there was a strange phenomenon happening. There was this green ooze type stuff within these old caves that seem to have higher intelligence of life in it. Inside the cave was this psychic inside with his hands stretched out towards the life form. His fingers and forearms were glowing a beautiful pinkish-purple hue. His eyes shut, head tilted back. He looks like he was in a trance of bliss. “You are talking to the creature, aren’t you?” I asked him, with a concerned sound to my voice. “Yes, I can hear everything. It’s so beautiful! It’s so peaceful.”He tilted further back and the glow was stronger. “You are not supposed to be here, you are a disturbance. You do not know what you are doing. I can hear as well, what you think is beautiful and peaceful is an illusion to what it really is.” I looked at him angrily but I knew he would not listen. He did not know better. A scientist came into the tomb/cave; I gave him a look and repeated what I said to the psychic. “You are not supposed to be here, leave the creature alone. I am warning you of what you are doing.” The scientist smiled, “We know what we are doing, we are going to make sure everything is controlled, and bring forth the creature with the elements.” I turned and walked out of the cave/tomb, making sure I did not disturb anything in there. I started to head towards my car when a fire ball appeared from the cave/tomb. I ran back towards it as the psychic and the scientist ran out screaming. “I WARNED YOU!! YOU DUMB SHITHEADS NOW YOU AWAKEN HER!!!” I yelled at them. The ground started to shake. I ran back to my car to get in and drive off. The scientist decided to run in with a water hose to see if it would calm it down. “NO!!!” I screamed, I knew he would not listen so I started to drive off. The water activated the creature and then out of the ground came a large green tentacle. I was speeding off in my car, and when I got to the first bridge the green tentacle picked up my car and dropped it back near the tomb. I got out the car and started running to the river which was nearby. The tentacle was stretching towards me, so I ran faster and reached the river. I looked back to see the tentacle stopped, and I can suddenly sense everything the creature felt, wanted, need, and all. It was as if the create was me. The scientist and psychic ran towards me. The scientist got on his knees, “Please, talk to her!! She needs you; she will only stop for you!! Do not leave her please she will destroy everything if you leave.” “Fine, but one condition...” I continued still highly upset that they even thought of bringing forth the creature, “leave her alone, do not bother her again.” They both agreed and I walked to the green tentacle which had now small branches of beautiful flowers on it. The scientist took a few flowers to sample. I went to touch the tentacle, and was transported to a place that seemed like Vegas by the river. Everything became clear to me of who the creature was, why I was there… The story was the creature was/is a goddess. She was the sister of Eve. She roamed everywhere but she could not go to a certain area because of some kind of curse/spell placed on her by I think it was Eve. In Vegas there was one side was mountain and with buildings then the river with the casinos and limelight. I was walking between the mountain side and the casinos. I enjoyed myself greatly. I spent time at the shipyard, and shopping centers. At one place I had to go get Alexis, and met with some of my old schoolmates. One of them had dropped some plates that landed so close to my feet that shards got into to my feet, but I did not feel it. She apologized and started trying to help get them out; another schoolmate came and did it as well to help get the pieces out. I did not bleed and it did not hurt. I told them I was fine and was still happy about everything. I continued walking to get my daughter, and her father came up. First thing I thought was how I do not want anything to do with him. He told me how he has a new job paying 50,000, and was doing well and wanted to have a moment with me. I knew he was going for more so I continued to walk without giving him even a look. I got Alexis and decided we should go to the casinos again for some fun. We went in and saw Smokey Robinson and some other legendary R&B singers who were still around. Smokey was hitting on me but I didn’t want to even be bothered with him. He asked me my age so I said I’m 26, 27, 29 and that I will always be young no matter how old I am so it really does not matter. I laughed and he was upset that I couldn’t tell him my age. I walked out the casino and saw a large security force surround a person carrying a black baby girl about 6-7 months old; she looked like how I did when I was a baby. They tried to go into the casino but the baby girl just kept crying kicking and screaming. They did not know what to do. I ran up to the person who was carrying the baby. With determination in my voice, “Put her down now!!!” With a dumbfound look the person place the child down. I knelt down to the child and looked into her eyes. She started to glow green; her hair had pieces of green strands as if they were grass blades. I bowed to her and placed my left hand spread out with flat to the ground. I noticed she had done the same as if it was like looking into a mirror. “It’s you!! You’re back again!!” I said to her. She smiled as if it was like a baby seeing her mother again. “You want to go over there, but the spell haunts you…” I told her, as she shook her head yes. I picked her up and held her on my left side. I told her she was safe as long as she’s in my arms, and do not worry about anything. She was happy and nervous at the same time, closer we got the panic was in her. I smiled and continued to walk through the threshold of the casino, she began to cry as if she someone was going to attack her. As I continued towards the river, I looked at her and told her not to cry because she was fine, nothing bad was happening to her, and to just open her eyes and see what is there. When I woke up I went to go take my shower, and my ear felt funny, so I looked in the mirror and saw a mark inside my ear the shape of a backwards “L” but in the mirror it looks like a normal “L” I asked Maya later about who I saw, she said it was Lilith/Gaia.

Does he know?

Does he know?? Does he know I dream about being in his arms every night, wanting to wake up in the morning to show my appreciation of him still wanting me to be in his arms? Does he know how much I would give my life for him? Does he know how much I yearn to have my soft lips close to his ear, whispering my thoughts of him at that moment? Does he know my main desire is to keep him happy, explore life together and help fulfill dreams? Outside of me just existing does he know who I am? -- Posted from my iPhone

Behind every strong man...

They say behind a strong man is a strong woman. But I think it’s more to the story than that. A strong woman is one thing, but the love of a strong woman, that’s something way more powerful and deep running. A strong woman can just be there for other reasons and when those reasons are gone then she is gone for good and will not look back, but the love from a strong woman will keep her there regardless of reasons to be there or not to be there. -- Posted from my iPhone

Dream of the council and suite 222

Dream started off me walking somewhere and seeing myself on an advertisement. I was upset due to the fact I did not know about it in the first place before publishing. I felt awkward and just wanted it to die down. Alexis didn’t see anything wrong with it, but I did. Next thing I know I went to my new place. It was absolutely beautiful suite/penthouse. Alexis and I decided to have a celebration for the night. I went out into the hallway and made a right. I realized that I only thing I was wearing was my wrap dress and a scarf, but I did not care. I continued to walk down and saw a group of business men. I knew a few of them but one particular I knew him since school days. I ran to him and he picked me up, as if I was his treasure and held me in the air for a second then gently lowered me to the ground and gave me a kiss. I looked over to see a blond guy just smiling, and I can sense him clearly, there was more to him behind that smile. I walked away and went to my suite again; the blonde guy came up to me as I started to enter. He said how I was lucky to stay here and just how wonderful to be a person of luck. My suite was number 222. I entered the suite to see it a complete mess, Alexis had over did the partying and left food and things thrown around. I had to rearrange the 5-7 ft cacti with the purple flowers that grew from them. I walked around the suite to see it had 3 bedrooms, dining room and a large living room with a patio that overlooked the waters, as well as my bedroom over looked the waters. The suite contained beautiful hardwood floors and plush carpet in the bedrooms. I proceeded to clean up the dining room that was covered with party food from earlier the night. I also changed into a 1950’s type floral dress. I looked out my window and saw Alexis’ godfather Juan coming. “Shit!! Alexis get up and get ready to leave your godfather is coming!” I said as I ran to Alexis to get her up. I realized she was her normal way in nowhere near ready to go, and I hated him having to come and wait, I just want him to come get her and go. So he came and had to wait on her. I ran around and helped her get ready. Before I was finished Juan was getting curious about the suite and went out another entrance, and Alexis followed laughing and talking to each other. I went after the two because I just want them to head out and enjoy their time out and get them out of my place. I went through the second entrance to find the suite lead to a beautiful spa/gym and a beautiful garden that had the river running through it. Further down there was a large high-end market, that just took me by surprise. I had lost the two while I was in the market. I saw my jewelry in there which I was happy about. The ceiling was so high and it looked like the night sky with the moon glowing. It had a cathedral feeling with gold beams/frame. I proceeded to walk back towards the suite, to come into the Christmas section. An old woman wearing green crystals adorn from her hat that draped down her face (which looked like something I had made) was talking to someone and the person looked at her in disgust and walked away. I walked up to her and ask if she needed help, she looked at me and started griping about my clothes, she found my dress had a small tear in it. I told her that I can repair it when I get back home. “No you cannot do that!! You cannot just go and mend it and think it is okay!! Because of the rip you look horrible, and ugly!!” she said in a furious rage. I smiled at her, “I can fix it, I am a seamstress as well as other things, it will be fine, see!!” after I said that my dressed changed instantly, from the black vintage floral to a shimmery blue crystal laced gown I had made. I mirror popped up and I turned her to face the mirror along with me. “There all better, and you look beautiful too!!”I told her as I held her still and I proceeded to giggle. “You think I am beautiful?” she asked with sadness in her voice. “Of course I think you beautiful silly woman!! I think you are a friend, you are just a bit headstrong and a bit high-emotional but you are a wonderful person! Just got to tone it down a bit and you will have more!” I replied. She looked at me and began crying, so we hugged. I saw the two knuckleheads Leos (Juan and Alexis) walk by like kids in a candy shop. I told the woman that I would be back I had to get the knuckleheads out of my home so they can go about their day. As I left I found out the woman was the decedent of Hallmark. I thought that was interesting but my mind was on getting them out. I caught up to them and was showing them the way out, Juan noticed a bag store and before he said anything about going in, I said you can do that another time. Alexis saw a newspaper stand where they had candy and I told her Juan can get you some later. I got them up and out of my suite. I was happy to have my alone time, I went back down into the shops, and ended up getting lost. I ended up in a large church/temple area; it was so large and breathtaking. The pews were of the best woods, the ceiling was as if it was the world, beautiful blue sky. I saw all these great leaders in it from the oldest to youngest, all different time eras. It felt like I had become part of a family reunion by being there. I walked to the far left, and sat near a few gentlemen. Everybody was having some kind of debate while they were waiting on someone to come. “What is this?” I asked one gentleman who was dressed like Fredrick Douglas. “This is the council” he replied. First thing I thought this would be a wonderful place for Alexis to be in the midst of. “Who is the teacher?” I asked him. He pointed towards me, I know he could not be pointing at me, I am nowhere near teacher quality, and I am not as sociable as some make it out to be. So I let it go and assumed he must be pointing to someone else. I ended up tired and wanting to go home, so I got up and walked towards the exit. An old black woman with a cane began to yell, “If you walk out you will be banned from the council!” I stood up in front of the woman, “I am sorry, I do not want to be banned, my suite is number 222, I just want to go home for a while, and I am lost. I will be back but I want to go home first!” The gentleman who dressed like F. Douglas started talking to the older woman, “She is still young and still new to everything. She will be ready soon for council let her go home for now.” The gentleman showed me the way out and I had received a red walking stick covered with gems. I walked out of the council and into a movie theatre. Another gentleman came up to show me home, but he said first he had to do something and we had to sit and watch a movie. The odd thing was everybody did whatever they want, shouting, laughing talking at the screen, and the movie seemed to be responding to what they were doing. Next thing I know I woke up…

Death of a Senator

Death of a Senator I had a dream I was up north at some political luncheon. American flags were draped across the walls to the point you could not see them. Politicians were there talking to each other as they ate their lunch. I sat with a woman. She was frail thin older woman in her late 70’s – early 80’s. She looked so familiar even with her grey nearly white hair. I know this woman but I do not know her name. I discussed how I could use my jewelry to help others and get it out there for the world. She smiled at me and said, “Go to Kennedy, You have to go to Kennedy.” I looked at her with a smile I knew she meant Ted because I saw him in the distance. “Good idea, I will go to him.” I said as I stood up and walked my way toward him. He stood in the corner of the room with a smile on his face, as he knew I was coming to him. Then everything went black. I went back to my normal sleep for about an hour or so. A buzz from my phone woke me up; I have received a message from Associated Press… “Senator Ted Kennedy Dead at age 77 in MA” What the Fuck!?!?!!!! -- Post From My iPhone

"O Fortuna velut Luna" ["O Fortune like the Moon"] Turn around and smell what you don't see Close your eyes ... it is so clear Here's the mirror, behind there is a screen On both ways you can get in. Don't think twice before you listen to your heart, Follow the trace for a new start. What you need and everything you'll feel Is just a question of the deal. In the eye of storm you'll see a lonely dove The experience of survival is the key To the gravity of love. "O Fortuna velut Luna" [Whispers:] [Woman :] The path of excess leads to the tower of Wisdom [Man :] The path of excess leads to the tower of Wisdom Try to think about it... That's the chance to live your life and discover What it is, what's the gravity of love "O Fortuna velut Luna" Look around just people, can you hear their voice Find the one who'll guide you to the limits of your choice. But if you're in the eye of storm Just think of the lonely dove The experience of survival is the key To the gravity of love. "O Fortuna velut Luna" "O Fortuna velut Luna"

Relationships and marriage

I saw the questions asked on a profile, is marriage necessary? Does it make a relationship stronger? What is marriage? Here are my answers.... Go through trails and pure hell with someone and can look at them at the end and still stay by them. When being able to see faults in one's self as well as them and work through it. When both take time to be open minded to be able to understand each other to grow, change and compromise is what makes relationships stronger. Marriage is the symbolic showing that you and the other person have decided to take this responsibility. It is to show the world as well that you have decided to do this that you love some enough to do this. The reasons for so many divorces is because people do not understand how great the magnitude it is to continuously love someone and to be with someone who is not you. It is easier to hate someone and block or delete them out of your life than it is to take time to love them for who they are and understand them. So is it necessary?? That comes down to the couple who are involved if they feel they can truly love each other and find within them if it is necessary to do it symbolic and show the world. -- Post From My iPhone

Just because

Just because… Just because I am black does not mean I know and understand what lil Wayne is saying in his songs, smoke weed, or speak the latest lingo. Just because I am a woman does not mean I want to take anything and everything from a man like a gold digger, or trash talk about all men as if they were dogs. It also does not mean I am an angry feminist. Just because I am young does not mean I am hard headed, stupid or never will learn Just because I speak my mind does not mean I must think I am always right. Just because I look like I have money does not mean I will not freely and willing gives to others. Just because I keep to myself does not mean I am a mean person, or do not like people. Just because I am me does not mean you can stereotype me Sorry but that is not me… -- Post From My iPhone

Dreams that alter

Dreams have been increased and becoming to a point where it has altered me as a person. My last dream was so many rolled up into one; I can remember parts of it. Only two major parts stood out of them. First one, I was out with friends celebrating we went to this one place that was A-list house party. I was with my husband, and my friends. We went out in a huge SUV to place after place enjoying ourselves, then after a few parties we were going to eat at a restaurant. While on the way someone took an ankle bracelet off one of my family members. So I went after the man who took it, and ended up at a house in France. There stood a woman who was the thief’s wife. She did not know where he went off to. I looked at the fireplace mantle and saw something complete strange. There was this putty that turned into something like worms that extended themselves out in the air. I walked closed to the mantle to see they were leeches. We talk about what they were, and found out one had leaped onto the back of my neck. The wife took it off me, and then I looked down to see one was on my pointing finger on my right hand sucking the blood out of me, but it was whatever that was dark and negative that was being taking out. I could feel the leech as if it was real. The leech was expanding and taking another form. I went to the cupboard and found salt and placed it on the leech as it continued until it was done and died. I looked at her and told her I was okay... then I woke up from the dream with my finger in pain; there was a circular indent where it looks like the leech was. The second part I remember was on travel and had come to this large white palace on top of a hill. It was filled with royals, celebs, etc. This place was the largest getaway from reality for them. There was some kind of party/theatrical event and I watched a few old men and people perform. They were all enjoying themselves. A platinum blonde person sat next to me in uniform. They placed their head on me; I was not sure who they were. They wanted me to come with them, but I declined, so they walked away from me. After the activities I remember it was now dawn and I went up to this computer source to get into the list and activate my account. I right before I could finish my name, a woman came up to me asking who I was, and state my purpose of being here. I looked at her firmly and said “My name is Paula Bannerman…” before I can finish my name and title and my purpose, she looked at me and said “well we shall see” She took me by the arm and we proceeded down a long corridor. During the walk I looked at her. She was a white older heavy set woman who was dressed as if she was royalty like a queen. She was dressed in a blue/white dress with a royal cape draping her. I stopped her and said that she needed to fix herself up to be presentable again because she was sloppy. So I adjusted her dress and cape. We continued to talk and then I saw that her necklace was a dull old pearl, so I told her I was a jeweler, and I can create a new way to look, so she can still have her class but not be so dull with those old pearls around her next, she agreed to that. We saw the old men from the night before but they were so into their own world they didn’t remember what happened the night before. By the time we have reached her office to see who I was she was fine with me, and happy that she met me. At her office I was looking around at her jewelry to see what I could remake of it, and then went out for a second to see about tools I could use. When I walked back in, I sensed something was wrong with her. I ran to her, she looked and me and clutched her chest. I touched her immediately to see she was in cardiac arrest. I said to stay calm and that I will call ambulance. I had to go through 2 phones to get a hold of medical help for her. I ran back to her as now she was on the floor and I held her hand. I could feel her pulse and whatever she was going through. When her pulse dropped, I cried and told her she could not die on me, I would not allow it, especially since she has not seen what I was going to create. She started to slip into the underworld but I told her to stay with me. Next thing I know she was saying she will stay as long as she could. She got up and sat on the couch like a queen would. I went outside to help direct the ambulance to where they could get to her. The EMT took her away, as she was being taken out; she left me in charge and saying to run the place because she knew I could do it. I was crying because I just wanted her better that was the only thing on my mind. People started coming up to me asking for help, but my first thing I wanted to do was clear the chaos from her office, and clean up. My daughter came in and started helping me. The queen’s assistance came in asking if there was anything I needed. I said just help clean up for her. Another person came in asking for help and wanting to be excused. I looked at her and thought there had to be a reason so I went and searched for what was the true reason, it turned out they did not want to cook beans, eggplants, peppers and chicken for someone. I looked at that person and said, you were hired to cook, and you will not be excused for cooking a simple dish, and told them to get back to work. Then I woke up again… this time I felt like I wish I could just stop the woman from having the attack from the beginning. It is freaky to see someone just go into cardiac arrest in front of you. -- Post From My iPhone

Wild dream #1

A big event was happening a woman talked about getting ready early for it because of bow frantic people get. So I booked 3 days of rooms before/during/After I walked and saw the Baron he wanted me to go to his place so I did. He wanted me to be nude on his red oak table so he can have me but I said no and walked away i went into a school and Into the first class they were teaching exstacy I was upset because the classroom and teacher were idiots thinking on the terms of flesh and getting high they did not understand the full concept so I left i went into the gym were I saw a friend who was helping the event she was mourning the death of her father. I held her hands as we sat on the floor and helped her get through it. The event was starting we sat down on large bleechers to watch extremely large white table and chairs rolled in with martini glasses filled with glowing liquid people sang and other things the glasses moved I didn't want anything on me so I got off the bleechers and saw the event was not real deal it was just a projection i went into a hall and ended up surrounded by books scrolls ancient documents all the knowledge was right there there was men in there that I personally knew. They were elders scolars and keepers of the scrolls. I realized I was almost old as them they had aged but I did not I still maintained all the info and experience like they have. I went and sat next to Classic to see how he was doing. A young man came in and I told him how he looked like someone I had a crush on a long time ago the young man was shocked by how old I actually was because of the elders. Classic told me how beautiful I was and I was wiser than ever then he touched my shoulders and I gave him a kiss. Next thing I saw family and people coming to seek the elders. -- Post From My iPhone

The calls

Yesterday I got a call saying how I would fail my new life and go back to dc to work as a drone again. Yesterday I got a call that reminded of empty promises that are given to me Yesterday I lay in the heat thinking of how I cannot live like this… Yesterday I decided I came to far to go back I will not allow myself to go back to that life I will continue to grow and become successful I will press forward to where I want to be I will continue to heal and learn I press forward to continuing to open my heart, for love to walk in one day I press forward to see what I can accomplish, as long as I have breath Even now… I drove to DC with a purpose as the rain storms are on my right and the rainbow on my left; I press forward to be an artist, designer. My work will be selling in 2 weeks. Yesterday was the past, and I will not allow the calls get me down. It’s time to work. -- Post From My iPhone

A place where there is peace and love, we call the Garden of Eden It’s a place where people can live where they want in peace. If God created something so spectacular to hold so many people then why would it be just a small place for so many people? What if it’s here in front of us below our feet but we cannot see it because we fight and have so much in us that we cannot focus. Buddha said, what we think we become.. Since Adam and Eve we have thought it was lost, but what if it’s not.. The only thing is that we became shell of flesh and locked onto it through its changes and shifts through time. We became lost in a garden of amazement.

About love

As I sat making jewelry listen to my friend spit hate about white men and empowering of the black woman I thought to myself we now live in a world of some form of hatred I started asking myself why do we keep with these patterns of hate? We disrespect belittle kill and other things because of it but why?? is there something greater that we keep fighting from happening!? the answer is we are hiding out awkening into a new enlighten state of living as a whole as one. Imagine a world where people walked in love instead of putting people down we helped to get to another higher level. some of the most enlightened talked about this kind of love and were killed for it to stop it from spreading. They say love Can be the most powerful tool in the universe. We just do not stop to see its full potential -- Post From My iPhone

I have ben going through so many changes it just seems like everytime I wake up it's a bigger change from the day before. I can not fully rest right now. I 'm still in transition. I wish for peace, happiness, and a place to truly call home but right now it's a bit difficult. I got to keep positive.. and stay focus